


Go Forward Slowly

by maxbegone



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Found Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 15:20:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxbegone/pseuds/maxbegone
Summary: In an adjacent universe, Scanlan was there for Kaylie from the very beginning.





	1. Part One

The night Sybil tells him, a warm spring breeze floating through the open window of her room, Scanlan thinks of his mother. He thinks of how she’d possibly scold him for being so _inconsistent,_ but he also thinks about how happy she would be, how she’d love him no matter what.

The night Sybil tells him she’s pregnant, a warm spring breeze floating through the open window of her room, Scanlan thinks of his mother. About how she raised him alone, how Vicout, whoever he was - dead or alive, Scanlan didn’t care- left her.

Scanlan decides he will not do that.

But that’s after he finds himself in a tavern blocks away, after telling Sybil that he will stop by in the morning. They will talk over tea, he thinks, when their minds are clear and they’re rested. Scanlan sits in a tavern with sticky floors and his forehead plastered to a table and he just…thinks. His drink is untouched next to him.

He wakes up early the next morning. His hair is a ratty mess from his tossing and turning - which was more than normal. His bones crack, his neck is stiff, but he dresses himself for the day. Scanlan doesn’t even stop to greet a hungover Dr. Dranzel on his way out; he just ignores the half-orc and gives him nothing but a short wave.

Scanlan knocks on the door to the seamstress’ shop and waits.

One minute. Two minutes.

There is no answer, so he knocks again. Soon, the door swings open to reveal Sybil in a dressing gown pulled tight around her. Her hair is more than windswept and her face is a pale-green color.

Before Scanlan can even begin to question, and maybe panic a little bit, she steps in and says, wearily, “This is pretty normal now. You don’t have to worry.” 

She guides him inside, and they sit rather awkwardly on the sofa. Scanlan promises he will be there to help Sybil through everything, to get her what she needs, and when the baby comes, and especially after.

She makes it clear - a romantic relationship is the last thing on her mind at the moment. Sybil’s focus is on the baby, and Scanlan can’t help but agree with her, even if he does feel a little disappointment deep in his gut. But he pushes that away. 

Sybil tells him that he doesn’t need to be there, during the birth, but he says that he really wants to and Sybil leaves it at that. 

“You can crush my hand if you’d like,” he offers sheepishly. “When the time comes.” 

Sybil smiles at that. “I might just keep that in mind.” 

Now here’s the thing. Dranzel’s troupe, Scanlan notes, it travels. She tells him to go but to return, that if he intends to make this promise then he needs to keep it.

So he will.

And he does.

 

-

 

Scanlan returns three months later with a rucksack of coin and a smile on his face.

The troupe traversed around Emon for a little while before Scanlan really insisted that he needed to return to Kymal. Really, he wanted to return much sooner. Dranzel ribs him about missing a lady, and Scanlan couldn’t really say he was very wrong. They didn’t know about the baby. If they did, Dranzel and the rest of the troupe would send him back to Kymal. Probably.

But the coin he made while on the road was for Sybil and the baby, so that’s really why he kept quiet. 

Sybil’s shop is open, and upon entering there is only one other person there besides him. The woman is already being helped by another shopkeep, and the ringing of the bell above the door brings Sybil out from the stockroom.

He’s not sure why it surprises him, but Sybil is round in the belly. It’s not like he expected her to retain a slight frame throughout the months he was away, but it’s then that he realizes how much he’s missed.

Sybil happily guides him upstairs to her quarters, equally as happy to end her day early.

He helps her settle into a chair before finding his own.

“Scanlan, are you just going to keep staring at my middle?” She snaps him out of his trance.

He didn’t even realized he was doing that. 

He coughs. “How do you ah - how do you feel?”

“Tired,” she sighs. “The babe kicks quite a lot, and we’ve got a few months, yet.” 

_Kicks,_ Scanlan thinks. He’s missing his child’s first movements.

He shakes his head. “You look well,” he continues. And she really does look healthy. “Are you seeing a healer? Or an alchemist? I’m not too sure how this works…” 

Sybil laughs. “I have a midwife. She’ll help with the birth, and I already told her that you will be there, as well.” 

“You _want_ me to be there?”

“You said I’m allowed to crush your hand,” she chides. “So you _better_ be there. Besides, you said you wanted to.” 

There’s a tightness in his chest and Scanlan maybe wants to cry a little bit. Sybil is letting him be there. He didn’t think she actually would.

His thoughts are cut off by a gasp and -

_“Oh!”_

His eyes go wide. “What’s wrong?” Scanlan nearly jumps out from his seat.

But Sybil’s eyes are full of brightness and awe, not fear. Her hands are pressed into a spot on her belly, and Scanlan relaxes.

She grabs him, pulls him over and presses his palm to the same spot. For a moment, there’s nothing and Scanlan feels a little awkward just standing there with his hands on Sybil. But then - 

He breathes out hard in shock because suddenly there’s movement. A press of _something -_ a foot, maybe their head? - against skin and he _feels it._ That’s his baby, their baby, moving.

Scanlan’s heart swells and he has that urge to cry again.

“You’re feeling that?” Sybil asks, her face with a wild grin plastered across it.

“Y-yeah,” is all he can say.

“You know, the baby does that every night when I’m trying to sleep,” she laughs, and Scanlan falters.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, I think it’s pretty normal. I don’t move at night like I do during the day.” 

Scanlan keeps his hands on the spot and says, “Well I toss and turn in my sleep, so you _could_ just blame me.” 

“I _could_ just blame you,” Sybil repeats. “Alright, then I will.”

There’s a lightness to the air as they stand there. Scanlan feels calmer than he originally was, and certainly less awkward around Sybil.

He could do this.

-

The months continue to pass and Scanlan comes and goes with the troupe. He comes back with gifts, sometimes flowers, sometimes coin but it makes all the difference ultimately.

Scanlan realizes eventually that he and Sybil have become friends, if anything else. He always greets her with a kiss on her cheek, and neither of them have made any headway in the direction of a romantic relationship. So really, they’re pretty content. 

He returns one day with a bouquet of lilies and lavender for Sybil to place on the windowsill in her room.

However, he doesn’t find her in the main part of the shop, but in the stockroom with her hands braced against one of the tables. Her eyes are squeezed tightly shut, she’s breathing heavily and - 

_“Shit.”_

“Get the midwife,” she nearly growls through her teeth.

“And leave you _alone?”_

“Do we have another option, Scanlan?”

Scanlan stands frozen for a minute, and soon Sybil is standing somewhat upright again.

“At least help me upstairs first,” she says weakly.

One she’s settled against at least a half of dozen pillows, Scanlan breathes deep and he notices something…off.

“Your belly looks…low?”

Sybil looks down, she runs her hands over herself. “The baby _feels_ low.”

Scanlan starts a bit, confused. “What? Low?”

She takes his hand and places it far under her belly, almost between her legs.

“Feels like the head’s resting there,” she sighs.

Scanlan frowns. “It doesn’t seem very comfortable.

Sybil shoots him an annoyed look and says, “No,” and that’s that.

-

From there, nothing really picks up for several hours. Sybil is in a nightgown now with a blanket draped over her shoulders while the midwife digs into her lower back. At one point, while she’s very slowly pacing about the room, the floor soaks beneath her and that brings her gradually lower and lower to her knees until she needs to lay down.

Scanlan either sits or paces, the midwife not too happy with him being there. But Sybil insists, so the woman leaves it.

Nearly ten hours pass before the midwife says it’s time, and although she makes to push Scanlan from the room, Sybil keeps a very tight grip on his hand.

Scanlan has never seen anyone exert so much energy and yet Sybil is miraculous.

But nothing gives for a long time. Eventually, the midwife pulls a tool out of her bag, and it scares them both.

“Alright, fathers shouldn’t be in the room for this-“ 

“Mona,” Sybil groans. “Just let him stay. He said he’d be here, so just let him _fucking stay!”_

She narrows her eyes at him. “My focus is mother and baby. If you get squeamish over a few drops of blood, then you will see yourself out, you hear?”

Scanlan just nods.

Sybil gets back to pushing almost immediately. Everything seems to be a blur of groans and screams and Scanlan saying, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon,” while his hand gets squeezed to bits. 

But soon, although not soon enough, there’s another voice in the room. A cry, and then there’s a red and _very tiny_ baby on Sybil’s chest.

And then Sybil’s crying along with the baby.

“You have a daughter,” the midwife announces, a little breathless. “Congratulations.” 

Scanlan sinks to his knees next to the bed so he can get a good look at the baby’s face.

And _oh gods he gets it._

She’s beautiful. She’s a tiny little thing with a set of lungs that can certainly match his own. Sybil looks up at him, eyes wet with tears.

“She’s here,” she whispers. “Kaylie.” 

It takes Scanlan a second to register what Sybil says, but once he does, he doesn’t even question it. His smile is so blindingly wide.

“Kaylie,” the name seems so natural and so, so perfect. He nods for a moment and then plants a kiss to Sybil’s forehead, and then the baby’s head. 

“Kaylie,” he finally repeats. “She’s perfect.”


	2. Part Two

It's late at night when Scanlan sits down with Dr. Dranzel. They sit in a pub not long after their performance for the evening back in Kymal. The half-orc has already downed two mugs of ale, and the third sits in front of him as he gawks at Scanlan. 

"A baby?"

"Yes."

"You had a baby?" Dranzel's eyes are wide. "With who?"

"A girl. Her name is Sybil."

Dranzel raises an eyebrow curiously. "A girl, huh? This the one you kept comin' back for?"

Scanlan laughs lightly and responds, "Yes, but it's not like that. We're just friends. Really."

"Just friends," he repeats, as if the words are foreign on his tongue. "Last I checked friends don't just go around having babies together. Are you sure there's nothing else there?"

"I'm sure," Scanlan replies. "Maybe in the beginning - well, obviously in the beginning because. Yeah. But we're just friends. Neither of us are focused on any other sort of relationship."

Dranzel makes a tsk noise in response, but Scanlan shoots him a look and that leaves the questioning at bay. 

"So, tell me about your kid then."

Scanlan couldn't stop the smile on his face if he tried.

"Her name is Kaylie. She's only a week old," he begins. "which is why you haven't really seen me. I've just wanted to spend as much time with her as I can. But Dra, she's beautiful, you wouldn't even believe!"

He goes on and on for awhile, talking about how soft her hair is, about how pretty her eyes are - a golden brown - and how he can't stop looking at her.

"- and maybe she looks like me but I see a lot of Sybil in her, too. She's still so little. And,  _gods,_ does she have quite the set of lungs."

"Well shit," Dranzel sighs. "Scanlan Shorthalt's a father." 

"Well don't - don't announce it to the world." 

There's a pause, and Dranzel claps him on the shoulder. "You're gonna do fine, kid. Congratulations." 

-

Scanlan sings to Kaylie quite a bit as she grows up. It specifically comes to fruition when she's nearly five months old and Sybil walks into the nursery. He's rocking her and humming a lullaby.

When he notices her, he stops abruptly and goes red in the face.

"You can keep going," Sybil encourages. "It was sweet to watch."

"I, uh - I wrote it. For Kaylie." 

Sybil's smile grows. "Well now I really want to hear it."

Scanlan writes a plethora of songs for Kaylie as she gets older, but the lullaby is the one that really sticks. When she's three, a thunderstorm rips through the town and Scanlan holds her tight as he sings. Kaylie loves it. 

And by  _gods_ is she a firey little girl. Her hair is long and wavy and it's always filled with twigs and leaves. She wreaks havoc whenever she can, and soon enough everyone in the town knows who Kaylie Shorthalt is. She is the light of his life, and Scanlan thinks everything is great. 

-

Unfortunately as time goes on, it becomes evident that Sybil needs all the help she can get. The shop does well, but not as good as it could be for someone supporting a child on such a meek salary. She takes up a second job a few nights a week as a barmaid and Scanlan continues with the troupe. It pains him, but he leaves a lot. And occasionally it's for months at a time.

One trip out of town leads them away from Kymal for nearly three months. Scanlan is miserable the entire time, and his performances show it. He doesn't partake in any festivities after their performances, he just heads back to his room and goes to sleep. Sometimes, he tries to write something for Kaylie, but they come up more melancholic than cheerful, so he scraps them. 

Scanlan writes to Kaylie and Sybil; he sends them some coin and promises he will return home soon. 

When he does, Kaylie tackles him into a hug. He doesn't let her see him cry, he just holds her tightly and for a long while as she goes on and on about how much she missed him.

She's growing up too fast, and Scanlan is missing all of it. 

He tells her stories about his trips on the road, his performances, and Kaylie is especially enthralled hearing about Scanlan specifically. Upon her request, he promises to teach her any instrument she'd like. 

Kaylie chooses the flute first, and later on the fiddle. 

As it turns out, she's a natural.

-

Things change a bit when Kaylie turns ten. 

A trip that Scanlan was told would be only three months - which pains him enough - turns out to be eight due to weather and travel. When he returns to Kymal this time, just two days shy of Kaylie's tenth birthday, Sybil is near-fuming.

"You're always gone, Scanlan," she snaps once Kaylie is asleep. 

He responds sheepishly, "I know."

"You can't keep doing this."

"I get why you're pissed, Syb, I do. But it's not like we're married! We're not even together, but I would do anything for you and Kaylie. For your wellbeing, for your happiness."

She huffs. "Alright then. Why?"

"Because you're my family. You're my family, and Kaylie's my daughter, and I  _leave_ because the troupe makes enough gold to help you both."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, Scanlan." Her voice was sharp.

Scanlan's voice falls weak. "I never said it doesn't hurt." He blinks back tears and continues. "Every time I leave her I'm missing her grow up, but I do it for her. Everything I do will  _always_ be for Kaylie. Since the very beginning, and until the very end." 

Sybil grows restless. "She misses you," she sighs. "Every night she asks when you're coming home. She doesn't care about your tales as much as she cares about seeing you. You're missing your daughter grow up, Scanlan. And I think you need to figure some things out before you really miss everything. "

There's a pause and tension settles in the air. 

Sybil finally speaks up again. "You can't keep leaving."

He decides then and there. He says it, and really, he knows it's been brewing deep within him for a long time. "I don't want to leave again." 

He marches off the next morning and announces his leave from Dr. Dranzel's Spectacular Traveling Troupe. 

He does it for Kaylie, and she's so happy. 

-

The next few years pass, and Scanlan works as a tutor, teaching locals music and still performing in the local taverns quite a bit. Scanlan watches his little girl grow. This, he remarks as the happiest time of his life since the day she was born. He teaches her everything - how to write music and limericks, how to skip stones, and they both watch as tensions lessen to nearly nothing between Scanlan and Sybil. They're close friends again, not estranged, and it makes everything better.

Sybil finds out about the College of the White Duke and sets her mind on it the minute Kaylie shows interest. 

Any and all money made goes towards Kaylie's fund. 

She's unable to attend, however, until she's at least thirteen, which gives them some leeway. But two weeks after her thirteenth birthday, Sybil and Scanlan take Kaylie to the College where she'll board for the next few years. She will perform, she announces, with groups of people and large orchestras.

Before he leaves, Scanlan pulls her aside.

"I am so proud of you," he recites with his hands on either side of her face. "You've grown up so much. And I'm still sorry for all of those years where I kept leaving you and your mother."

"Da," Kaylie chimes, long dusty-brown hair falling into her eyes. "It's alright. You didn't do it selfishly. You did it for us."

Scanlan wants to cry. "Everything I do I will always do for you." He taps her nose. "

Kaylie smiles. "I'll repay you for that one day," she says, her voice a bit thick. "You and Mama."

"I'm sorry that we're not your traditional family either." 

"Eh, fuck tradition," she swears a little loudly, and just this once, Scanlan smiles and Sybil lets it slide. 

He pulls her into a strong hug. "I love you, my girl. You go show them who's boss, yeah?"

"Yeah," she whispers into the hug. "I promise I will." 

Scanlan steps away, and then it's Sybil's turn. While she cries, Scanlan turns and wipes his eyes of the stray tears. 

"You write to us," Sybil nearly demands. "And you come home whenever you'd like. We'll be there." 

Kaylie smiles wide. "I promise. Now go, before I start cryin' as well." 

Scanlan takes a long look at his daughter's new home-away-from-home before he finally turns and leaves with Sybil.

-

It takes six months before he leaves Kymal again, but not for the College.

He's performing in a tavern one night when a group of thugs try to start something with the patrons. A giant man, one who Scanlan has never seen before, picks up one of the guys by his cloak and gleans his white teeth at him. Another thug sneaks up behind up with a heavy glass bottle, but Scanlan distracts him just in time for a gnome with dark hair to swing her mace into his side.

Scanlan watches as a fight begins to break out, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, he jumps in. A Thunderwave sends one of the thugs crashing against a wall while the giant - half-giant maybe, Scanlan thinks - breaks a few bones. The gnomish woman gets some pretty good hits in before townsguard come in and finish the mess.

"Thanks for the help," she says to Scanlan a little breathlessly. "We've been trailing these guys for a few days." 

Scanlan's a little dumbfounded by the abrasiveness. "Not a problem. It was a bit fun." 

She smiles at him, her hand outstretched. "I'm Pike. That's Grog."

"Scanlan Shorthalt," he shakes her hand and yeah he's probably a goner. 

This opens up a chapter that Scanlan was never expecting to find in his life.

Eventually, Pike, the gnome, and Grog, the goliath, who are best friends, ask Scanlan to finish looking for the rest of the cult that are in the surrounding areas. 

From there, they meet a set of elven twins with too-similar names, a red-scaled dragonborn, another elf, but she has red hair and a staff and is very awkward, and a white-haired human man with a name that is ridiculously long.

This, Scanlan comes to know, is a very strange family that he loves and would do anything for.

These people are The S.H.I.T.S.

These people are Vox Machina.

And they are how he begins adventuring.

 


End file.
